If you were to stack up all the stupid things I’ve done, you couldn’t clean them with a thousand dishwashers.

“When you see my skill with a brick, you’ll think I’m skilled under the blanket.…”

“Sharks are so stupid. They swam right up to the boat, and they couldn’t even te…”

“I take humor very seriously. I also take it three times a day, with meals.”

“Love is being able to be yourself, with another human being who makes you want …”