If you’re at the bar trying to pick up women, remember: bend at the knees.

“Sure, I’d fake my own death. But only if I had the following items: duct tape, …”

“I once got a handjob from a glove. I miss the 80s.”

“Thanks to my grandpa, I can go to France and not be visiting Germany. He single…”

“If you had a clone, I wouldn’t care which one of you two I dated. It’d be the s…”