If you’re wearing a space suit, I’ll take a unicrescent sandwich; hold the mayonnaise—and the moon. (But don’t hold it in your hands.) Let us dance like the moon is hollow and inhabited by beings of light who give off enough energy so I can be a night nudist.

“There’s a penis in my penne pasta. It’s my penis, but that doesn’t mean it belo…”

“Back when I was a competitive swimmer, I used to dream of going to the Olympics…”

“Love is as old as time, though it is considerably more difficult to stuff insid…”

“Falling in love too quickly spells disaster. But I’ve always lived dangerously,…”