I’ll leave my disconnected cell phone as collateral, and I’ll call you on it when I’m able to pay.

“With intellectual labor your hard work is forever, while with manual labor your…”

“I meant to spear her with my love, but bad breath got in the way. Next time I’l…”

“A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait.”

“When I jog it’s like a dancing dog. Well, it’s more of a foxtrot.”