I’ll leave the door cracked, because cracked is better than broken.

“If I had a street named after me, I’d carry that around instead of a driver’s l…”

“I got my girlfriend knocked up. Next time I’ll ring the doorbell before I enter…”

“Inside my skull is a turtle shell. Inside the turtle shell is a rabbit. And ins…”

“We’re all trying to come to terms with our mortality. Well, except for me, beca…”