I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.

“I’m itching for battle—with a mosquito bite. The only thing in life I’ll scratc…”

“A brick could be used to foretell the future. And from all indicators, 2013’s g…”

“I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.”

“I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding…”