I’ll wear a fork on my head, and if anybody wants a job, they can eat salad off my scalp.

“The internet's a great way to meet people. You never really know someone until …”

“I don't understand people who say they need more "Me Time." What other time is …”

“If I could change one thing about myself, I’d pick a new nose, because I’m tire…”

“I love giving love. The more I give, the more I have to give.”