I’m 6’3”, but you would think I was Napoleon’s height because I’m slouched over with poor posture, and I have a lust for conquering Europe.

“Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your …”

“A brick could be used to sell tickets to a new sport called Glurping. If you th…”

“I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are ou…”

“I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make …”