I’m a bean counter. Oh, I’m not an accountant, but I did spill pinto beans on the counter.

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The other thing is, of course, two. That m…”

“I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendous…”

“It’s now 4:17 am, and I just got done dealing with Mrs. Indianapolis, of Indian…”

“I’d like a doggy bag to take home my leftover grilled canine burger.”