I’m a closet sociopath. You can tell by all the skeletons I have hanging up next to my clothes.


“When Jed comes in and gives you that look where his forehead wrinkles up and hi…”

“Come, midget, and use my pillow as a sleeping bag.”

“The world has genetically modified opinions, but mine are organic. Taste them a…”

“I don’t understand people who eat Chinese food with chopsticks when the restaur…”