I’m a door-to-door salesman. I sell doors. If I can’t knock on yours, because you don’t have a door to knock on, I know you’ll be interested in what I’m selling.

“The conversation went like this: Me: Hello? You left your panties over here.
He…”

“I say eek to Zeke Ekez, the imaginary palindrome politician of my dreams. He lo…”

“Her name is Today. I told her I’d call her tomorrow. That was yesterday. I’m co…”

“I’d run 26.2 miles to eat a Marathon candy bar.”