I’m a miner, and I’m always dirty, because I’m constantly digging. Am I shoveling for gold? Hardly. I’m unearthing this hearty land searching for the next great American novel. If I dig deep enough, I’m sure to find it.

“She’s the kind of woman where if you give her an inch, she’ll take the whole pe…”

“Not only will my kids be out to replace me, but so will all my clones. Makes me…”

“Sometimes I still get the urge to stuff asparagus up my nostrils, even though I…”

“I’m so tall I make midgets look like dwarves.”