I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.

“The Italians say “Chow.” To them it means “Bye,” but to me it means food. Of th…”

“I want to scrape earwax out of your ears like the last of the chunky peanut but…”

“The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her li…”

“I left a jar in the doorway to leave the door ajar, but love never walked in.”