I’m a thief. What can I say, I’ve got sticky fingers. I robbed a sperm bank. But I did it for the people.

“I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my c…”

“With the money I spend on alcohol, I could support a family of four, assuming t…”

“When my coffee is gone, so is my motivation.”

“I like watching other people watching other people.”