I’m covered in fish hair! I have a dwarf shaped like a suitcase that I carry everywhere. Women tell me I love too deeply. Wrong! I love too widely.

“Twitter—up to the minute minute details.”

“Having a clone to bounce ideas off of would be a way to generate more ideas. An…”

“After I go to the bathroom, I leave my hands wet as proof I washed them.”

“I am the open, empty palm. You may call it ingratitude, bearing no gifts, but I…”