I’m here today because of my decisions yesterday. So I can change my tomorrow today, but I can’t change my today today. This makes the me of yesterday offensive to the me of today.

“You can believe history books when they tell you when wars were fought. You jus…”

“A brick could be used to control whole populations of people. Just get a good l…”

“Love is 3:33 am plus 360 degrees plus 365 days, minus 12:34 pm. I ought to know…”

“I want to assure you, I’m not that kind of pervert. But don’t worry, goat lady,…”