I'm not afraid of death, I'm just not sure there is life after the honeymoon.

“The first thing she told me after I hit on her was that she had a boyfriend of …”

“I love like an albino. But I don’t want to get sunburned, so would you please p…”

“When the dust is settled, I’ll be there, wearing a maid’s outfit.”

“A brick could replace the eagle as the symbol for the United States of America.…”