I’m not exactly sympathetic, but I do have a big heart. I have to, to be able to pump all the blood required to operate my massive penis.

“If love were seaweed, I’d ask myself one question: Are you the sort of person w…”

“What is the greatest mystery of the universe? The answer is brick. Or is it bla…”

“The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her li…”

“I’m practically famous. More than eleven people have heard of me. Twelve, to be…”