I’m now solidly in my mid-thirties. I turned thirty, three days ago.

“Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need …”

“I would say exploit the stupid, because they’re expendable and loyal, but it’s …”

“What has four wooden legs and hangs out in a bar? If you answered a barstool, y…”

“I found a body today. It was mine, so I played with it.”