I’m running late. But that’s OK, because I’m wearing Nikes.

“I don’t know why she broke up with me. I was always there when she needed me. W…”

“I’m a fancier. Not a pigeon fancier, but just fancier than you.”

“I cling to our love like saran wrap on leftovers. If you want to know when dinn…”

“While getting a haircut, I thought about my failed marriage. Instead of feeling…”