I’m sexually attracted to statues made out of decomposing food. Is it normal to be hungry during intercourse?

“I have a rating system I apply to all people. Mao Zedong might have a Meow Fact…”

“Love is like a cookie. Maybe I should have ordered crackers with my condom soup.”

“When I was a little boy, I used to work in a sweatshop. We made deodorant.”

“I’m so old school I’m like a one-room schoolhouse—with no bathroom. I always ke…”