I’m so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out is political rhetoric.

“Sunday nights I get about two inches of sleep. But I make do, because that’s al…”

“Question for your life: If you could change War’s name, do you think you’d chan…”

“2001 was a great year. It was the first year I declared myself the “Man of the …”

“I started out on a treadmill—and I just did my first marathon. And all while si…”