I'm sure glad socks are made out of cotton, and not ice-cube trays, because I don't like keeping my socks in the freezer. Because if I did that, then where would I keep my underwear?

“I like great music, but who doesn’t? Oh yeah, deaf people.”

“Pound-for-pound, I’m the best non-fighter in the world. I could kick Gandhi’s a…”

“In high school pottery class, I never made a whole vase. Instead I made fragmen…”

“The outer bands of the tropical storm didn’t play as good of music as the inner…”