I’m sure I look memorable in my tuxedo, and she looks gorgeous in her wedding gown. I’ve wanted to marry her since I first met her. And being the best man doesn’t make me feel better.

“A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, b…”

“Bricks could be used to fill Fort Knox. I know, I know. You’re probably thinkin…”

“When I turned 30, I was done with Thousand Island dressing. I have moved on to …”

“A glazed banana peel is not for eating, it’s for innuendo.
”