I’m the Robert the Bruce of Bruces. I’m also the Robert the Bruce of Roberts. 


“Too much coffee has been spilled in the name of war. Let us love and savor ever…”

“My uncle's a big drinker. In fact, he just got a liver transplant. They replace…”

“Bosses are like assholes—everybody’s got one. Well, everyone except the unemplo…”

“I always wear my seat belt when I drive a point home.”