I’m tired of calling @PapaJohns. I wish they’d call me for once. I’m starting to think they don’t love me.

“If we’re friends, I’m only the funniest guy you know because you don’t know Joh…”

“A blanket can be a meditation device. If the blanket is white, and you stare at…”

“I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in m…”

“You may have to dish out more love than me, but I have more love to dish out. A…”