i’m very expressive.

i deserve to feel pretty.

i kissed the blarney stone.

i am strong. i am brave.

im a good friend. I’m a good sister. I’m a good wife. i am a good in-law. I’m a good daughter. i am a good niece. I’m a good beagle mother. i am a good granddaughter.

i work hard for it, honey.

im superfly TNT motherfucker.

im a pilot of the airwaves.

im a better third baseman that brooks robinson.

I B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E.

i have exceptionally beautiful feet, eyes, ears, hips, hair, teeth, breasts. and shoulders. and fingernails. in a different pen, she added, and eyelashes and eyebrows, plus in yet another pen, and nose. and chin.

Author: Rob Sheffield