I’m wearing my political mustache today. If you want to see it, you’ll find it on the pubic region of a lobbyist.

“Ah, the good ol’ days. I remember those days. That was before your time. It was…”

“In the off chance I’ll be turned on, I keep a light switch in my pocket. (Who t…”

“Cats are magicians. They can make my erections disappear. All they have to do i…”

“My rules are as follows: don’t follow, unless there’s a fire. And in that case,…”