In life or death situations, my father has only been there once for me. So I'd like to tell him thanks for not pulling out when I needed him the most: conception.

“When I visit England, I want to bring back the best souvenir an American can ge…”

“I’m tired of thinking about Agatha. Well, not about her, but about my loss of h…”

“I put the “Dan” in Danger. I’m sorry, Dan.”

“A Letter to Andre Breton, Originally Composed on a Leaf of Lettuce With an Ink-…”