In my laboratory, I use science to measure love. Whatever you do, don’t drink out of beaker number two.

“Cats have the curiosity of a genius, while dogs have the intellect of a sack of…”

“When I hear a politician has died in a car accident, I think, “How tragic! Even…”

“Maybe I will buy my nephew an aquarium for his next birthday. It’s got to be be…”

“Surfers catch waves, and so do people being told goodbye.”