In the long run, a treadmill’s a great investment.

“When I walk my dog, people always ask if we’re twins.”

“I taught my kid brother sign language and then cut off all his fingers. He hasn…”

“Mr. Pullum is a dick, and if he were two dicks, he’d like to pullum both.”

“I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a s…”