Insects have the most sex. Trust me, I peep on them through my microscope.

“Love equals 9X+1Y-4Z, with XYZ representing whatever.”

“It's really hard to drive, talk on the phone, and jack off at the same time. An…”

“I want to grow a tan and an accent, then dig it out of my garden and staple it …”

“I’m as thirsty as an elephant penis in the snow. I’m ready to love again.”