Is the only reason you get out of bed because you can’t sleep anymore? I’m like that sometimes.

“Your food’s not getting cold. I’m keeping it warm in my stomach. Dinner’s on me…”

“A brick could be used to stop a bleeding wound. Though just between you and me,…”

“I’ll never go hungry, because I’m a pet owner and a meat eater. I used to own b…”

“I didn’t win a championship, but I did pop some champagne bottles—and a few loc…”