It is Father’s Day today. I should probably call all three of mine and say Hello, and thanks for possibly pumping my mom with the winning batch of semen.

“She told me she has her eye on me, so I said, And what do you have your other e…”

“The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pa…”

“I want to live for a very, very long time, but it’s important that I take care …”

“A brick could be used to create a new society, a perfect society, where there i…”