It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. Ugh, #love.

“A triangle has three points, just like the number of horns my ex had (she was 5…”

“I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so…”

“If my name were Mememem, and I had just ran into someone who should have known …”

“Bah, Alzheimer’s. Grandma wouldn’t be so forgetful if she didn’t always have di…”