It’s not fun to pet cats when you’ve already poured gravy on them, and you’re holding silverware. Author: Jarod Kintz Copy Quote More from Jarod Kintz “After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography.” “My soul left my body, and my body left my clothes and went streaking through th…” “Call me Clyde. Call me Dale. Call me a Clydesdale.” “My name is Two Dogs Wink While Chewing. It’s not an Indian name, nor one that r…”