I’ve got a piece of the American Dream. I don’t have a house, but I do have a new chandelier. Now I just have to build a house around it.

“I wash my hands before putting them in sanitation gloves.”

“I wish I had eyes that changed colors from blue to gray, and then after I cried…”

“Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.”

“I dove in feet first. I like to dive in feet before I dive in hands, because I …”