I’ve got hair in my mouth, because I replaced my teeth with my cat. This makes it more fun to pet my gums.

“Don’t be alarmed by the flashing lights and the sirens you can’t see or hear. J…”

“I’m not flat broke. I’m a little hilly.”

“My leadership style can be summed up in one word: Follower.”

“A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of…”