I’ve got washboard abs. Go ahead, get rid of your dishwasher.

“Rain is a nudist’s shower, and I want a bathtub the size of a lake. Then we cou…”

“When a guy at the urinal says to me, "If you shake it more than twice, you're p…”

“Sorry I’m late. Traffic was nonexistent.”

“I walk like I have tornadoes for legs. Let us make love like Kansas.”