I've nearly started!

“Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower? Of course not. Don't be silly. Even i…”

“Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living!…”

“Hee hee hee! You should've seen the look on your face!""If mom and dad cared ab…”

“Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who…”