I've never had a one-night stand with anybody over the course of a whole weekend. I've also never had a one-night stand while standing the whole time.

“When I write I am an avocado, and in a team sport setting, I am guacamole. And …”

“If I spent as much time as I did money, I’d be dead tomorrow.”

“I like color commentators. Especially red, white, and blue color commentators. …”

“I want to be a part of your world. Or, if that’s too much to ask, I’d accept be…”