Larry Bird looks like a bird, and Johnny Vagina looks like—hey, what is that in the sky?


“Any advice I might give a depressed person comes in the form of cyanide, and us…”

“If I spent as much time as I did money, I’d be dead tomorrow.”

“If I had a wooden leg I could sit on three-legged chairs no problem.”

“Most people live life backwards. They party and kill time in their youth, when …”