Last night as I was driving home, I ran over a guy in a wheelchair. But it’s OK—he was already paralyzed.

“I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but fi…”

“I got my spring cleaning done early this year. I did it over the summer.”

“I don’t get offended when you talk about the Japanese. Not because I’m not one,…”

“As a storyteller, I appreciate a great tale. As a cat lover, I appreciate a gre…”