Laying on top of me is better than laying on a bed, because a bed doesn’t give off rising heat, or supply a functioning erection.

“I need love. Here’s a list of other things I need: eggs, butter, flour, and sug…”

“I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me …”

“My friend had sex with half of all the women in the city. I think he had sex wi…”

“Though my skull is the size of a soup bowl, everything in the universe—and more…”