Life is short. But so are midgets.

“The only time I can throw 80 yards is when my football-shaped alarm clock goes …”

“First machine kicked man’s ass physically, then machine started taking over the…”

“I have a list of pet names for Cap’n so long that it could fill a phone book (i…”

“Call me Bitter Otter. It’s just a nickname I gave myself. However, a better des…”