Like a vibrator bolted on a bulldozer, I’m a regular sex machine.

“We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and…”

“At Starbucks I like ordering a “Tall venti in a grande cup.” That’s basically m…”

“The picture is bad because the photographer was poor. I took the picture myself…”

“I applied for an overnight stocking position at a supermarket, but I didn’t get…”