Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love a man who wears an eye patch. For me, Dress-Like-A-Pirate Day occurs once a year, and lasts all year.

“I couldn’t make a free throw if the basket were as big as the Grand Canyon. But…”

“A blanket could be used to stimulate the topographical terrain of a mountainous…”

“A brick could make everything better for me. Now, if I could only find a way to…”

“I know her name. I remember because I forgot. That’s one of the joys of love. W…”