Love can’t spread its wings and fly, because love is an ostrich. But it can sure run fast!

“The police called it choking, but I called it a two-handed neck hug. That’s how…”

“Siamese twins have it great because one can jack off while the other talks dirt…”

“Did I spell the word “did” right? Of course not! I got my D’s mixed up.”

“I wish to report an attempted murder—on my clone. Someone tried to drink my sem…”