Love has a certain weightlessness to it, much as my meaty penis would on the moon.

“I’m 6’3”, but you would think I was Napoleon’s height because I’m slouched over…”

“I’m tired of thinking about Agatha. Well, not about her, but about my loss of h…”

“A brick could be used as a trophy, and when you get yours, believe me, you’ll h…”

“The fastest way to lose weight is to find religion and start fasting.”