Love is like a corn-dog popsicle, and I’m on the Most Wanted list. Unfortunately it’s by the government, specifically the FDA, and not by women.

“A blanket could be used to trap my love in, before it dissipates out into the w…”

“Rather than dirt, I’d rather push a wheelbarrow full of books. Dirty books.”

“I got stiffed on a tip. It was an erection.”

“She had an ass behind her that went on for days. In fact, I’m still talking abo…”